Oh no. Why is this always the second question I get asked after meeting someone new? I feel my breath shorten, shoulders tense and the pit of my stomach tightens. My eyes dart around looking around to see if I can segue into another conversation before I have to humor this torturous inquiry.
What do I do for a living? Well... I live. I love. I celebrate. I experiment with life experiences. There are one hundred answers I'd like to offer, but I know what my new acquaintance is asking, "What's your paid gig? What's that flashy title that describes what you do eight hours of your daily life?" The anxiety surrounding this common small-talk question feels like someone turned on the interrogation light on all the missteps of my career path. Literally, sweat beads at my frizzy hairline as the heat of this question stirs within me frazzled self-criticisms.
"I work at a hospital." That's interesting enough, right?
"Oh! Are you a nurse?" Damn! Wouldn't it be great if I were a nurse? Except for the fact that bodily fluids not belonging to one of my three children sends me into a weird visceral claustrophobic reaction.
"No, not a nurse. I work in healthcare security." Puzzled, I see they have no idea what this means, and the first association made is... "Oh are you a security guard?" They look me over trying to associate my eclectic boho-hippie appearance with being a uniform-wearing, badge yielding, safety enforcing rent-a-cop. I guess it would be kind of interesting if I were a security officer; just for the sake of juxtaposition.
"No. I work as the assistant in the security office." There! Happy? Impressed? Didn't think so. I shrink inside. I charismatically switch the conversation, probably using some kind of hilarious movie quote or complimenting someone's outfit. "Oh. Ok..." they reply, and perhaps continue to ask what that entails, but let's be honest, office jobs hardly hold people's attention for long amid the hustle and bustle of a soirée.
I'd think to myself. I am so much more than what I do to make money. My job isn't what I do for a living, it is what I do to live the life I live. It says nothing about me. But what if it does say more about me than I think? Does it say... I settled? Did I give up?
What about all those dreams I have? What about all those amazing creative pursuits I used think I'd get to? The ideas dreamed and shared in smoky drunken living rooms about building cooperative communities that would change the oppressive economy and reverse our society's toxic self-serving materialistic values? You did catch the boho-hippie reference earlier, right? So, you get the picture.
For as many social gatherings as I attend, and for as many new people as I am happy to meet, being the outstanding extrovert that I am, I admit that having issues with this question is ridiculous. It is an ice-breaker conversation to most, except to me it is paralyzing.
Or perhaps I'm not so ridiculous at my discomfort with being asked about my occupation. In fact, in France, it is considered improper etiquette to "ask personal questions related to occupation, salary, age, family or children unless you have a well-established friendship."
In an episode of This American Life cataloging the experiences of Americans living in Paris, it highlighted a couple of enticing cultural values that American expatriates revere.
One, people do not ask personal questions. "You're not constantly explaining yourself."
Secondly, "There isn't that same striving to be Number One. Work is not that important to most people."
Late author, Janet McDonald, then living in Paris at the time of the broadcast, said,
To set the record straight, the job I had for over a ten years was a blessing to me and my family. It provided me stability at a time in my life where there was a mess of chaos. I reminisce about the time in my mid-20s, newly graduated from University, a single-mother of a four-year-old son, still feeling as if I had somehow missed a class that everyone had taken on how to be an adult. There were basic life skills that I had yet to master when I found this temporary gig that I ended up staying permanently for over a decade. My boss understood the leniency I needed and he allowed me to grow up there. He also allowed me to be the gregarious spirit I am at the office; laughing loudly, recounting my out-of-office adventures, singing maybe a bit too loud to whatever tunes were going to get me through the day. I'd joke with my boss whenever my personality was a bit too colorful and exclaim, "C'mon, you know I am good for the environment!"
I made dear friends at this job. We have seen each other through so many life changes: weddings, divorces, illnesses, births, deaths, layoffs, and firings. When we come together, no time really passes in our affection for one another. Oh and our own social parties... Whew! Those have many Stay-In-Vegas disclaimers to them, yet it is one of our greatest joys to recount them to one another.
So, what's the issue, Dear?
The job itself was great and many people would be fortunate to work as I did, especially in a time where so many people are looking for work. Despite all the silver linings I identified with my job, a critical element was lacking... passion. My gifts and talents were utilized somewhat, but not how I imagined. As I witnessed several of my friends living their dream jobs, and I championing their risks and endeavors, I wondered if I too could integrate what I do for a living with living a life of passion and service?
Well, my Friends, I am overjoyed to report that I am at the precipice of that reality now. One of my yoga instructors shared during meditation, "Sometimes the most beautiful gifts come in ugly packaging." That rang true for me. I have been released to explore, to create, to trust in the greater good and I embark in the claiming of my miraculous life.
Stay tuned because it keeps getting better. In my next entry I will share the revelations I have already gained from being RELEASED! From Safe & Stable to Embarking a Path of Faith & Passion.
My intention for this blog is to share stories: my own and others that encourage, uplift and elevate each of our stake in living our most joyful life through fanciful exploration of finding truth in every experience. I am your resident enthusiast and I hope you will join and share in this journey with me!
Namaste.
Or perhaps I'm not so ridiculous at my discomfort with being asked about my occupation. In fact, in France, it is considered improper etiquette to "ask personal questions related to occupation, salary, age, family or children unless you have a well-established friendship."
In an episode of This American Life cataloging the experiences of Americans living in Paris, it highlighted a couple of enticing cultural values that American expatriates revere.
One, people do not ask personal questions. "You're not constantly explaining yourself."
Secondly, "There isn't that same striving to be Number One. Work is not that important to most people."
Late author, Janet McDonald, then living in Paris at the time of the broadcast, said,
"I feel most inside right now where I am most outside. Go figure. That's what freedom is, though. It's not about nothing left to lose. It is about nothing left to be. You don't have to be anything."
To set the record straight, the job I had for over a ten years was a blessing to me and my family. It provided me stability at a time in my life where there was a mess of chaos. I reminisce about the time in my mid-20s, newly graduated from University, a single-mother of a four-year-old son, still feeling as if I had somehow missed a class that everyone had taken on how to be an adult. There were basic life skills that I had yet to master when I found this temporary gig that I ended up staying permanently for over a decade. My boss understood the leniency I needed and he allowed me to grow up there. He also allowed me to be the gregarious spirit I am at the office; laughing loudly, recounting my out-of-office adventures, singing maybe a bit too loud to whatever tunes were going to get me through the day. I'd joke with my boss whenever my personality was a bit too colorful and exclaim, "C'mon, you know I am good for the environment!"
I made dear friends at this job. We have seen each other through so many life changes: weddings, divorces, illnesses, births, deaths, layoffs, and firings. When we come together, no time really passes in our affection for one another. Oh and our own social parties... Whew! Those have many Stay-In-Vegas disclaimers to them, yet it is one of our greatest joys to recount them to one another.
So, what's the issue, Dear?
The job itself was great and many people would be fortunate to work as I did, especially in a time where so many people are looking for work. Despite all the silver linings I identified with my job, a critical element was lacking... passion. My gifts and talents were utilized somewhat, but not how I imagined. As I witnessed several of my friends living their dream jobs, and I championing their risks and endeavors, I wondered if I too could integrate what I do for a living with living a life of passion and service?
Well, my Friends, I am overjoyed to report that I am at the precipice of that reality now. One of my yoga instructors shared during meditation, "Sometimes the most beautiful gifts come in ugly packaging." That rang true for me. I have been released to explore, to create, to trust in the greater good and I embark in the claiming of my miraculous life.
Stay tuned because it keeps getting better. In my next entry I will share the revelations I have already gained from being RELEASED! From Safe & Stable to Embarking a Path of Faith & Passion.
My intention for this blog is to share stories: my own and others that encourage, uplift and elevate each of our stake in living our most joyful life through fanciful exploration of finding truth in every experience. I am your resident enthusiast and I hope you will join and share in this journey with me!
Namaste.
What a great post and such a great time to read it. I know that exact feeling of feeling your heart sink when someone asks you that inevitable question - what do you do? And I worked that boring office job that neither utilized my talents and skills nor was I the least bit passionate about. And I was at my "temporary" job for 5 years, but worked similar jobs for 10 years. And then I made this leap. PT school. Crazy with two kids. And it is as crazy as everyone says but after working hard for a week and feeling like I did something that mattered and at the same time challenged myself and used my knowledge and skills to help people - wow, totally worth it. And what a difference for me to answer that question now, even more so in a couple of years when I'm done. I can feel proud of the answer because I'm passionate about it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah! It was interesting to find out how many people related to this experience. Imagine the shift in consciousness if more and more people claim their passion as their living?!! Beautiful.
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